i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
one might say we're banned from that church
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
