pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
