My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
No subtext here. People are naked.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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