our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
