did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize