I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
