I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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