he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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