I wish I could teleport
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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