he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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