are you so shy because you have an std?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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