He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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