I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
