We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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