you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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