He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize