She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize