can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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