she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
