you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
