Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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