I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
