What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
