whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
