Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
