Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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