Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
