He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize