Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
