My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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