Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
