Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
