dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
