it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
