Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
