Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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