I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
