so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
