I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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