he shaved USA in his pubs
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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