I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
