our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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