i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize