I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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