i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
