apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
