so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
