you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He shit in the fireplace
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize