"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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