he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
