butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
