you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
