I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
