It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
