I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
