Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize