I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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