I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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