Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
