Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize